Understanding: Men's Feelings

3 min read 4 Comments

Understanding men's feeling

We’ve all heard it a million times, “My man doesn’t have emotions”. 

Yes, it can be frustrating when men don’t showemotion as much as you’d like them to, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel them. They’re just wired differently. 

Daphne Rose Kingma, author of The Men We Never Knew explains it like this;

"We've dismissed men as the feelingless gender—we've given up on them. Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught, point-by-point, not to feel, not to cry, and not to find words to express themselves."

Barbara Markway Ph.D., in a recent article for Psychology Today, explains how men subconsciously learn to divert their emotions, so that they don’t have to deal with them on the surface. She outlines 3 ways in which men channel their feelings in a subconscious effort to avoid expressing them;

Men may convert stereotypically feminine feelings, such as sadness or vulnerability, into feelings likeanger or pride—feelings more socially acceptable for them to experience.

Men may shift their feelings into another arena. Men may express emotions only in places where they feel safe, and where the expression of feelings is considered acceptable. Just look at how men act atsports events: It's not uncommon to see them express great exuberance and affection, giving each other hugs and high-fives.

Men may experience their feelings through physical complaints. It's not uncommon to see men experience their feelings through things such as headaches are backaches. You may know of a man who gets headaches only on the weekends, or becomes sick during vacations. Why does this happen? Because as long as men are working, they can cut off their feelings. Without the structure of work, however, their feelings and needs surface, and may be expressed through physical symptoms.”

a boy suffering from back pain | a boy sitting on a chair | stressed man

Dr. Markway goes on to explain that societal perception also plays a major role in how men express themselves;

Men are in a "double-bind" when it comes to expressing emotions. Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified. Women, they may believe, want their partners to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle. In fact, results from numerous research studies tells us that men may be right to be wary of women who implore them to show their true feelings. Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.

Men’s feelings may take everyone off guard.Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven't developed resources for handling them when they do arise. Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can often prove overwhelming.”

Gift ideas for someone special | gentleman hug girl

So next time he just grunts when you give him a gift that you expected to knock his socks off, don’t get mad. Just understand that, while he may be all warm and fuzzy on the inside, he’s wired to not necessarily show you that. 

Either that, or you maybe you just didn’t push the right emotional button. For tips on doing that, check out ourarticle on writing the perfect personalized message.

If you think you’re ready to make the plunge on that emotion-filled gift of a lifetime,you can start shopping here…

Or, if you’d like some tips on how to identify the gift that suits him best, we’ve got agreat article on that, here…

4 Responses

Jessica Smith
Jessica Smith

May 12, 2021

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Ashly  Acosta
Ashly Acosta

April 02, 2021

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After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that tormented my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. Every day and night I think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Jumba can help get an ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and I did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he missed me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Jumba. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Jumba is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr. Jumba now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +19085174108 ,Email him at: wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com , Website:  https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com    ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.


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